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I can believe its already 12 days into May

12 May

Lately I feel like I’ve been holding my breath.  I have been majorly focused on achieving some financial goals and one of them is fast approaching, I am about to pay off my car.  This week in fact if everything goes as planned.

While this financial focus has paid off well, it has held me back from other goals.  Fitness being one of them.  My job situation is cyclical though.  The fitness one is not.  If I can get on a plan I can maintain for fitness it will be one I can maintain for a lifetime.  I have held my weight since the last loss which has been great.  Sadly though I’ve been giving myself more treats.  Funnily enough the treats taste awful because of all the good food I’ve been eating.  My food budget (along with all others) had been reduced severely while trying to reach my goal.  I just found a cookbook though that makes it easy to eat well while using cheap ingredients: http://www.leannebrown.ca/cookbooks/

I’m going to use try to liven up this weeks food menu without breaking the bank.  I also gave up going to get waxed months ago.  This was huge bummer.  I’ve been using Nair for a while now but it seems my skin is not happy about it anymore.  I’m hoping maybe I can try to figure out a way to budget in waxes again or at least try to do this for the summer months.  Although I’m really glad I didn’t splurge recently as it is currently snowing outside!

My husband is talking about working out again now that he is healed after surgery and he needs to regain muscle use so I might have a fitness buddy soon.  It seems I just need to recommit myself to this project.  I have a goal but not a ton of motivation reach it.  I guess it’s almost ingrained at this point to go without so I can pay off my debts, which soon will only consist of student loans, both the car and the credit cards were paid off due to my unwavering efforts.  I guess I just have to realign my focus again.  I wanted to think about it and type it out here.  Put it in my weight goals folder and check it regularly like I do with my finances.  Just like debt pay off its only going to happen if I make it happen.  While I’ve been lukewarm about the whole thing the reality is I need to do something for myself again.  And working out is not only healthy but in my case its frugal as I have a cheap gym membership.

While a cookie here and there won’t derail my efforts I need to reassess my goals.  Why I put up this blog and why I keep trying.  Even in my minimal efforts I have gone down one pants size.  What I want and what I’ve always wanted is to be one of those people who eats healthy.  Having a kitchen full of veggies (which I often do) and fruits (which I rarely do except citrus for water and margaritas.)  I have been good about using up left overs though which has created some great healthy dishes.  I fall off the wagon since I keep making the same some few dishes that I know don’t cost much.

I did a project where I reorganized my dishes in binders and that has been really helpful.  We are making it more of a consistent habit to menu plan.  So it’s not like starting from scratch but I do need to make the effort to maintain the habit. Food is mostly covered though when I veer of track I usually sit down and do something about it.

It’s working out that’s a b*tch.  Lately I’ve been putting in so many hours to my contract job and part-time job that I am always exhausted.  I do have a mini gym in the complex that I should take advantage of on nights I’m too tired to drive to my gym.  I know if I wake up early enough I can get into the pool at the gym I pay for so that is something.  If I find a way to work my way around fitness then everything will be fine.  I need to make that effort now.  The last thing I need to do is let all my hard work go to waste.  I’d like to go right after my night-time part-time job but my husband usually stays up late on those nights so we can see each other so I’m not giving that up.  The next option is to wake up for 4 or 5 am to catch the pool before anyone else does.  While this would be difficult for me it would also be my best bet because then I am up bright and early and can put in overtime hours at my job.

This is something to try tonight.  Go to both jobs today set my alarm and roll out of bed bright and early tomorrow to get in a work out.  This is the ideal.  I’ll see if I can make that happen today and if I can then I’ll keep it up two more times this week.  Maybe at the end I’ll even end up showing a loss. 🙂  Time to get back to work and plan a menu.

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I have been very busy

24 Apr

Busy helping everyone other than myself aside from working to make sure I have enough money to stay on track in my financial plans.  Good news is I have finally dipped below the weight I started at and I have made it a habit to evaluate food choices before I put something in my month.

The menu habit is sticking too.  It’s been nice.  I am happy that somethings have stayed on track.  I am not so happy about some other things staying on track though.  Like the constant not going to the gym.  Right now I am sitting here starving.  I made out a plan though I could go to the gym now walk on the treadmill for 30 mins and be home in time for my scheduled appointment.  But then I think oh no the dogs need to go out and I need to eat.  My mind says “Yes but you set a goal and even though you are losing weight, you are not exercising and not using the gym membership that you are paying for which is setting you further back from your financial goals.”  Then the argument continues and I still sit here running out the clock.

I’m tired of running out the clock.  I am now a little less than a year away from when I want to achieve my goal weight and 5 month from my mini goal.  Something has to give.

Yes I have had medical issues.  Yes I’ve had a bit of success with my eating program but if I want to see real results and not feel so icky on a regular basis I need to make this happen.  I’m tired of telling myself why I can’t do things and need to let myself make these plans and really follow through on them as well.  NO more.  If I just keep sitting here I am going to keep have menial results.  I can’t achieve what I want to in this span of time without the exercise to.  It’s time to put my money where my mouth is.

Slow Start

10 Apr

This week my husband had surgery.  I had tried to plan everything out so things could keep running in the meantime but it didn’t quite work out. Good news: Lost the pound I gained last week Bad news: Still didn’t make time for exercise, have had constant cramps all week, work stress is not helping New Plan: Work out before the work day starts.  It’s the most relaxing.  Right before work is a good idea and my schedule is such that I can make it happen. My food diary is laying there unwritten in for the past two days, the sink is a mess, the kitchen is a mess and I am sick of take out food.  But I am not giving up.  Just because things are difficult doesn’t mean I should stop trying.  I am ecstatic that I have kept up the maintenance and still fit in size 10 jeans.  My 12’s have been tossed it feels amazing and a validation that I have been doing at least half of the puzzle correctly.  If I make it to one exercise session at all I would be so pleased.  Right now I can feel myself falling asleep at the keyboard. If I get up tomorrow morning and go it would be great as I need to get a lot of work done in the morning and this would unfog my head.  My gym bag is packed and all is in order.  Now I just need to ask myself what is more important and extra hour of sleep or an work out session in my food planner? Thank you all who have paid attention so far.  Knowing that people are out there gives me a reason to stay on the path and not surrender.  Not even when I get to my goal.  It’s a lifestyle that I seem to be able to maintain on the food side now I just need to make exercise a habit instead of a thought!

The end of my health scare and a reflection on my bottom half

21 Mar

Well the health scare has ended and now it is almost April.  Next week will be rough because I will be working 60-80 hours or so.  But I want to make this a priority.

On a day to day basis I tend to ignore the fact that I am heavier than I would like to be.  The other day I did some of my virtual window shopping and found a used Herve Leger dress that I could afford.  I was about to talk myself into the purchase when I realized that it would not fit me, not only that if I did lose weight I might just slide right into fitting into the smaller size.  The seemed like a waste of money even if it was on sale.

The other day I got out of the shower and put pants on right away and I realized how much I worry about my bottom half on a regular basis.  I worry about dressing in it bottoms, how it will look in a dress, in a skirt, shorts are just not even a option.  My waist is small but the area around my belly button has effectively become a spare tire as it is the size of the top of my hips.  Anything put on that area will ride low as a bottom and curl up as a top.  It is embarrassing but I don’t really feel it until the air hits my exposed overhanging belly.  Other times it’s the feeling I get when I bend down a realize there is a bit too much breeze on my back side.  And yet other times it’s my husband constantly pulling my shirt down when we are out which he does because of his OCD but it just makes me feel that much more vulnerable.

These are things I am tired of living with.  I do live with them deal with them even but I’m tired of it.  I want to be able to wear things without having all this worry or embarrassment.   I did find a way to cope by finding dresses that fit well since my in between size top and bottoms don’t really work for me at this weight.  But the other day it hit me that is all just cover up.  I don’t want to cover up and I want to dress myself in what I want and feel good about it, and not have to worry that the weight will creep back up and I’ll be here again.

I have an event in 6 months that I want to look drop dead gorgeous at, plus its my birthday.  Summer is coming right around the corner.  I don’t want it to be another summer of worrying about my belly.  Now that my health has been restored it is time to get back on the wagon.  Let’s see how tonight goes.

A little is better than nothing

14 Mar

I have goals for this year and the financials ones are plugging along, but my health not so much.  I’ve been sick a lot and need dental work, new glasses etc.   Now that my financial house is mostly in order I’m going to take care of these things.

I’ve been working so much and neglected working out and when I’m in good health I say oh well couldn’t get a work out in try again tomorrow.  But I have to make time.  I wouldn’t be doing well financially if I hadn’t automated the way I handle my paychecks so why should this be any different.

I need to start somewhere and like working out and savings a little at a time is better than nothing at all.  Everyone has to start somewhere.  If I expect to get anywhere close to fitting in those jeans again I have to start somewhere.  Right now I’m in a size 12.  It’s doable all I have to do is start.

My damn health is making that hard.  Guess I’ll start by making sure I’m taking care of myself period.

In order to work out you must be healthy

11 Mar

I am having issues again and my financials are not “perfect.”  Guess the lesson here is flexibility?  Whatever it is I am going to try to stay the course.  I don’t want to upset my body and cause more issues so I’m going to have to focus on food again for the next 10 days after that though its back to work.   It’s a set back for sure but I’m just going to try to stay the course.  It’s a marathon not a sprint.

Well working 40 hrs in 3 days makes it hard to go to the gym and to eat anything from home

28 Feb

This week has been so busy.  I’ve had my girly time for going on two weeks and I’ve worked an insane amount of hours in the past few days.  I’m trying not to get discouraged though.  I will have decent food in the house again soon, I will go back to the gym and I won’t always be overwhelmed by work.  My gym bag is still set up etc.  But either way I now have to go get some sleep as it is also important to weight loss.

I’ve managed to maintain and that is way better than a gain.  One week of chaos doesn’t mean I can’t lose weight it just means I have to be more mindful to make time for me and reaching this goal.